A Pastor's Wife is a Mentor
What the women and girls in our churches need is a spiritual mentor. What does mentor mean and how can we be one? It means adviser, guide, teacher. I’ll take each point and elaborate on it.
1. Adviser: How do you know how to advise women when they come to you with their burdens and problems? The only way to be able to advise someone else is to have an intimate relationship with God. John 15: 4,5 says, “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.” Abiding is simply depending on the Lord for everything, trusting Him with everything, talking to Him about everything and getting his wisdom and guidance as to what to do in every situation. Also check out Proverbs 3:5,6. If you don’t do that, you will be drawing on your own opinions
Your resources will be your Bible and prayer. 2 Timothy 2:15 tells us to study the Word. If you don’t have some spiritual input you won’t have anything to give someone who comes to you for advice. Isn’t it amazing and wonderful that the Bible is still relevant to our problems today? And then pray for the wisdom of God in each situation that you are asked for advice. God will show you through prayer and Bible study how to help each individual in need.
2. Guide: You can be a guide by the example you are before others. Ladies let’s be real; let’s be transparent. Don’t put on a perfect persona in church and never let them see that you are human. The women and girls that look to us for guidance need to see that we experience some of the same things that they experience, and they need to see how we handle them. How do we react in a crisis? Do we fall apart, or do we put everything in God’s hands and trust Him to work things out?
We can be like overprotective mothers, though, telling them what to do in every situation, but they will never grow up. It is better to point them to God. We can’t be anyone’s Holy Spirit. They have the Holy Spirit and equal access to Him, but they just need to be guided into how to have an intimate relationship with the Lord for themselves.
3. Teaching: You can mentor by teaching. Titus 2:3-5 tells us that the older women are to teach the younger. Even if you are young, you as the pastor’s wife will be a more mature Christian than many of the women in your church, and you can teach them.
We teach to pass on knowledge: They need to know what God is like: that He is a loving, caring God and able to take care of their every need. We also teach to encourage, grow them up, and train them for service. At times I ask different ones of the ladies to speak, even if it is just a short testimony. They need to be able to speak to people about the Lord: to witness, to become teachers, and even to be spiritual mentors to those whom they have influence over.
When the opportunity arises to advise, guide or teach, I try to follow the guidelines in Ephesians 4:15a “..speaking the truth in love...” Your ladies and girls will respond and grow under your kind words and treatment.
It is an awesome responsibility to be a spiritual mentor, but it is also a great privilege.